How do I love?

Yesterday I was visiting the mall and was filled with just a sense of how much I loved my brother Benji. It was kind of the weirdest thing, but I walked out of the mall and spotted a Carl’s Jr. and thought, I would give anything, ANYTHING! to just be able to take Benji out to Carl’s Jr. It is nothing special, I actually can't recall a time we went there together, it was just one of those feelings. And then I began to think about how much I loved Benji. I would give anything to have him back. I know he is in a better place and he would hate me if I wished him back from where he is, but I thought to myself...I would give anything, my home, my car, my computer, my skis, everything I have, to have him back; so much in fact that I would be willing to give up skiing to have my brother back. If it would bring him back I would be willing to never set foot on the ski slope again. I would give up everything.

And then I thought about my relationships with those who are still alive. Do I love them the same way? Would I be willing to give up everything to be with them? I have been brainwashed pretty good to think that stuff matters. I place value on things like my home, my skis, my computer, and my car. Why?

Benji, I would give up all these things to be with you, and one day I will. One day I will be with you again and will leave all of these things behind. But, until then, I want to love others. I want to invest into people's lives. One thing I have learned from your life is that stuff doesn't matter. You left everything you owned. There was nothing you bought that you took with you. You left it all for us to sort out (you know you could have maybe taken some of your shirts, and made it a little easier on us). Relationships matter. And it is my prayer that I am able to invest into people's lives because of the legacy you left. I am still faced with the race set before me and I want to run it with a life full of love, willing to sacrifice and give up everything just to be with those I love.